Okay... this is NOT my life!

Have you ever had one of those days that you wish you could just do completely over? Yeah... that's the kind of day I've had. I slept in a little later than I should have, but I should have just stayed there all day, as it turned out.

The first thing I did today was catch my toes on the corner of the china cabinet, I then spent the next ten minutes cussing and hopping around on one foot. Twenty minutes later, I did the same damn thing again. I did invent some great new vulgar word combinations, though!

After recovering from that, I got ready to take a shower only to discover that the pilot light on the water heater had gone out. Let me just say, somewhere in this world there is a sadistic bastard who designs pilot light systems, laughing his ass off. I washed my hair in cold water in the sink.

Running about an hour late, I finally got everyone in the car and went to pick up my father for lunch. He was asleep when I got there, and he refused to put on regular pants to go out in. I was in no mood to argue with him so I took him to lunch in his flannel pajama bottoms and bed head. He decided he had to have McDonald's... so that's where we went. Yum. While standing in line I looked over at my daughter and noticed she was covered in dirt, the knees of her pants caked with mud. She'd been outside practicing sliding earlier and I was so rushed I didn't even notice the dust cloud that was following her. All that was missing from this scene was The Beverly Hillbillies theme song playing in the background. I pick up the tray of food and turn around and run straight into an ex of mine. I looked like I had been through the mill and felt like it too. He, of course, looked perfectly put together and better looking than he did years ago.

I felt like curling up in the fetal position and locking myself in the closet when I got home... but, I can laugh now... or maybe I've finally snapped. Sometimes it's hard to tell. :P

Mondayyyyness....

Well... sadly, due to circumstances beyond my control, I did not get to see Vampire Weekend tonight. My son DID go though, so I got the post-game wrap-up and an AWESOME T-shirt from him. Not the best show he'd ever seen, but not the worst. Small and packed venue, enthusiasm very high... as was the keyboard player, who seemed to lag behind the rest of the band most of the night. Truly a disappointment for the keyboard playing friend that was with them. The lead singer of the band seemed to make up for it with sizzling vocals and on-spot guitar licks, squaring it all up in the end. Sorry I missed it, but not devastated.

On the good side, I had an hours long conversation with my daughter. I was thrilled, but played it cool. She talked about things she'd never uttered before and I was so relieved. She's a mystery most of the time, and keeps her feelings well hidden. It was nice to hear her opinion of things and actually have a back and forth with her. She's a very cool person, in my opinion.

But... I don't want this blog to be about my kids. I wouldn't want anyone writing about me without my knowledge and I'm going to do my best to stay true to that. I may wander off my path occasionally and mention them, for that... I hope I am forgiven.

Being single in this ridiculous world is difficult, but being coupled with someone can be just as harrowing, maybe worse. Most of the single people I know now meet potential suitors online, as do I. It's sickeningly scary, as I know from experience. People present themselves in a light you'd like to see them in, simply because you tell everyone in your profile what you'd like in a potential mate. Wow... isn't that amazing? They like the same music I do, they like the same foods I like, they read the same books I read! We must be meant to be! I've met THE biggest losers on EARTH online... why? Because they don't stand a chance in real life meetings.

How about the loser who seems really interested in you, until you show a little apprehension. The day after you couldn't do exactly what he wanted you to do, he'll post some ridiculous message that he is suddenly in a new relationship. The idiot probably thinks he's making you jealous, but has no idea that he just made it into your INCREDIBLE loser categorey! Obviously, that is something that just happened to me, but I thought I'd share it with whatever elusive entity who might be reading this....LOL!

Enough ranting already! Have a sweet and peaceful evening.

Friday night... and I'm sitting at home

listening to the new Johnny Cash album. I think this one should be the last one they release... the good songs are getting sparse. There is a good version of Satisfied Mind on it, so I consider it money well spent. It is good music to sit and reflect upon the coming tests of my fortitude, I'll admit.

I spent a good part of my evening with my daughter, it was really nice. My son has outgrown me, I fear... at least for the time being. I'll be hanging out with him next week though, seeing Vampire Weekend! In a year or two we can bring my daughter along with us, that'll be the ultimate good time for me. I love my music worshipping children, chips off the old block!(Even if it means I'm going to have to endure the sounds of a beginning drummer for a while!):P

I had somewhat of a stressful week with a lot of major decisions to mull over, but I think I'll keep those things to myself for a while yet. I need time to sort through it all. Waking up to snow this morning messed with my mind a little bit, and I haven't been right since! Sooo... I think I'll keep it short today, I hope tomorrow brings things into better focus.

Later... that same night.

I just want to share with you the music that is making me crazy right now, and that's exactly what music SHOULD do for you!

The house is quiet....

and I'm listening to the sweet sounds of The Raconteurs... what a band. You Don't Understand Me, one the best songs on the album and the one I identify with the most. I've always felt misunderstood, for the most part, and I figure good ole Jack White does too... but I digress.

I always said I would never get into the blogging thing... seems everyone's doing it, and I usually don't jump on bandwagons. Chances are... no one will ever read a word of this, and I can live with that. I just need a place to put this endless train of thought I seem to have when I should be SLEEPING! Sleep... I forget what that really is. Oh, I'll shut down for a while, but just a little while. Two hours of rest and then, BAM... 3:00 in the morning and I'm wide awake. The hours I should be spending in La-La Land are instead spent reflecting on the state of the world, the state of the pile of laundry growing in the utility room, or my incredibly changing state of mind.

That is the way it's always been for me, since the beginning of time. Night time has always been magical for me. No voices harping, no demands, no critics, no appointments.... it's the only time a soul is free. I can re-enact a poorly worded conversation and make it okay again, I can be the artist I always wanted to be- at night. I can paint that masterpiece in my mind, write the perfect song, construct the perfect monument, save someone... save myself. It's wondrous and right. I seem to have all the answers when the rest of the world slumbers, I'm fucking omnipotent... then... the sun rises. It all slips away, just out of my grasp. Everything I thought I understood suddenly seems to be tinged with doubt or apprehension. I abhor that, but I want to understand it more than anything.

I want to know why it is that I can contemplate alternative universes at 2 in the morning, but I can't even discuss alternative lifestyles at 2 in the afternoon. Why is it that I was so curious as a child that I would lay awake at night and contemplate the thought of nothingness- what does nothing look like? Is it clear? What does clear really look like, when I can't picture it without an image or color behind it?- Yet, in the light of day I don't have the patience to wait at a red light.

Yes... night time is my time and I'm tired of fighting it, but, perhaps with this outlet I won't be so damn cranky in the morning. :P