It's 4 o'clock in the morning...

and there is no sleep in sight. I've had a few drinks... but still, I should have been asleep a couple hours ago. I have things churning inside me, and NOTHING seems to calm them.

I'm wondering if I've led my daughter down the right roads... she's 11 and more mouthy than I ever was... even when I was a "real" punk rocker in the eighties. She's really smart, and that makes me proud AND scares the shit out of me at the same time.

My Dad is going to move in with us in a week. That scares me more than anyone would ever know. I've never really lived with my father... and now I'm in a parental position. I don't like it... even though I should. :P

All these things really put a damper on my one night stands... and that sucks. Maybe I'm resentful, maybe I'm desperate. BUT... it could be... I'm delusional, since I've had no sex life to speak of in over a year!!! So... that can't really be it.

The fact is, I'm going to have to focus on other people for a change... and that's a good thing. My whole life has revolved around my kids, and that's natural... what I'm going to do isn't. I'm going to have to live with a man I never really understood, did everything differently than I would have, and who made catastrophic mistakes in life. Whoops... that's me!

Like daughter, like father.

Not so late night, lately...

I'm still up til all hours... but I'm too tired to type the thoughts of my rambling mind! Baseball should be over after this week, and I'm ready! We've got three more tournament games this week and I'm torn between wanting my daughter's team to go all the way, and wanting it all to be over. Actually, I want them to go all the way. I just want to be able to watch it on TV, in the air-conditioned comfort of my living room! :P If she plays next year, I'm building a little cubicle, with a big window, to sit in. I'll have a recliner, fridge and a tiny air conditioner in there, then she can play ALL summer! It doesn't sound unreasonable to me!

Anyway, had a really nice 4th of July. Went to regular league closing ceremonies and sat with an old friend... played around outside and then went to the V.F.W. for food, fireworks and cheap drinks. They actually had a pretty decent band playing, and the fireworks get better every year! Not too shabby for a one light town! :P Pretty good summer so far, and The Reds are really putting the icing on the cake!

I guess it's time to get in gear, I've got a lot of sweating to do this evening! Go Enon! :/