It's 4 o'clock in the morning...

and there is no sleep in sight. I've had a few drinks... but still, I should have been asleep a couple hours ago. I have things churning inside me, and NOTHING seems to calm them.

I'm wondering if I've led my daughter down the right roads... she's 11 and more mouthy than I ever was... even when I was a "real" punk rocker in the eighties. She's really smart, and that makes me proud AND scares the shit out of me at the same time.

My Dad is going to move in with us in a week. That scares me more than anyone would ever know. I've never really lived with my father... and now I'm in a parental position. I don't like it... even though I should. :P

All these things really put a damper on my one night stands... and that sucks. Maybe I'm resentful, maybe I'm desperate. BUT... it could be... I'm delusional, since I've had no sex life to speak of in over a year!!! So... that can't really be it.

The fact is, I'm going to have to focus on other people for a change... and that's a good thing. My whole life has revolved around my kids, and that's natural... what I'm going to do isn't. I'm going to have to live with a man I never really understood, did everything differently than I would have, and who made catastrophic mistakes in life. Whoops... that's me!

Like daughter, like father.