Looking back in time...

I've been doing a bit of soul searching tonight... as usual. This night took me back to a great time in my life, and all it took was a song. The year was 1991. The place was a tiny studio apartment I was able to get with the help of my family, following the abrupt ending of my marriage. The song was "Get Here" by Oleta Adams. I was violently in love with a man who was not my husband, but... was a friend of ours. I was 22, and love was everything to me. I mean everything.

I was able to talk this man into coming to my "house" to talk. The rest, as they say, was history. The best times I've ever had, simply because of the passion I carried around for him. It was probably mediocre at best, in reality. The actualization of a fantasy, though, was priceless. All I know is what I felt at the time, which was something words can't describe. You had to be me, I guess. Imagine carrying around expectations, thoughts, feelings, and explicit images around with you for years. Imagine getting the opportunity to act on those feelings. I actually did! It was amazing! It really was... but it was a red hot flame that burned out very quickly. Reality set in, and it turned out to be too much for either one of us to deal with, but what a rush!

I would not trade that time in my life for anything, and I mean it. That is the fuel that burns in me to this day. I know, or at least... I hope, that I can feel that way again. It's what I live for. I hope for good music and good feelings like 1991 brought me!

And on the remote chance he's reading this... I've never forgotten you.